Wednesday, September 9, 2009


There is a graveyard in the back of my mind, which has a road leading to another one, a small one, tucked deep inside my heart.

They say a woman's mind is her own secret garden. Mine is so overgrown, I'm waiting for my own emotional Mary Lennox to come and find the key, go inside, and do some weeding and planting.

As much as I do not like the status of my life right now, I am trying hard not to give up. To give up would be to cease to live. So today, in the midst of my "to do" list, I'm going to go over the precious few dreams that I have not yet given up on.

-One day I'm gonna walk across that stage and accept my college degree. And I will graduate with honors, because I know I'm capable of doing so. Late doesn't have to turn into never.

-One day, when things calm down and I'm able to function better, I'm going to put my hands to a piano again. I'm gonna find my muse Lyricist again (Lyricist lives). I'm gonna start singing again.

-One day we'll be out of this crap a** apartment and into a real home. My little boy will grow up in a good neighborhood, and go to school with good kids. Preferably with his cousin Ethan. *New Dream* My son will have a life so different from my own, so "normal" that he will almost take it for granted. I say almost because I will raise him to appreciate what he has. But so help me, he will never taste the youth that I had to live through.

-One day soon, our proverbial hands will not be one centimeter from our mouths.

I'm trying to function. So I decided to do something that I haven't done in a while: dream.


  1. Remember that I was 54 when I finally go that degree. You too can do it.

  2. :-) Thanks. And congrats. I know it felt good, didn't it?