Monday, September 7, 2009

"Unemployed does not equal unproductive."

I try to remind myself that I'm one of the 26% of Americans who are currently out of a job. I try not to let myself grieve over what I percieve to be the choices that put me in this situation. I have a great deal to be happy about. Still, I can't help but feel that as I am I am currently more of a hinderance to the situation than a help.

In the past six months I've sent out hundreds of resumes. I've gotten only a handful of interviews. I have to remind myself that there are those who aren't getting any at all. I volley back and forth between being grateful that I can be home with my son, to being ashamed that I'm sitting at home taking up resources but not being able to replenish them, to panicking that I've somehow ruined my career.

I think about school, I think about changing careers. I think about giving up and just going on welfare until things calm down, at least I'll have a preference in some jobs, because the system would rather me be working than collecting a check. I honestly don't know what to do, other than cry.

I just hope that this situation isn't long lasting. It may not be permanent, but I sometimes feel that by not being able to work through my pregnancy, I've done permanent damage to my ability to help pay for the food I eat and clothes I wear. Especially now that I have a child.

No comments:

Post a Comment